Wednesday, February 16, 2005

You Must Be At Least THIS Crazy To Ride This Ride

My feet are cold.

I'm on a roller coaster, alone.

Racing toward uncertainty. Up ahead, a long rise in the metal tracks. Excitement. The abrupt drop beyond? Anxiety. A lighting-fast corkscrew takes me through Fear, followed by a lethargic ascent to Anticipation. A breath-taking view. Next, Sadness. Courage. Loneliness. Joy.

When, exactly, will this ride come to an end? My stomach says what my head won't admit.

I'm second-guessing myself. My mind was clear, my gaze firmly focused on the goal. Now, my vision's gone blurry. I'm back to convincing myself that I'm doing the right thing. Before, I knew.

How much can one revisit a decision before all conviction has been depleted? Is this normal? Healthy?

My feet haven't felt warm for weeks...

It's not the kind of cold I'm used to.

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