More heavy stuff.

My little sister called me from Phoenix recently; she wanted to pick my brain regarding my move to Oregon. It hadn't occured to me until then, but I had never really discussed with her, at length, my motivations for leaving "home" four years ago. Periodically, something insignificant will remind me of how much I have changed since being here, but it was nice to re-trace my steps with her.

She has been contemplating moving out-of-state, but is understandably nervous. She feels a need to change things up and refocus. I think all she needed was little advice and/or reassurance from her big sister, and I was more than happy to share my thoughts.

This is how I see it: Doing that which we are most scared of generally results in tremendous personal growth.

I left home at 18 years-old, just two months after I had graduated high school. I moved to Portland, a city that I had never so much as visited. I had a small amount of money saved, no job to come to, and no idea where I was going to live. I had never lived outside of Phoenix, and having grown up in a large family, never been "alone" for any length of time. Yet, I was eager to sacrifice what was familar for the sake of neoteric experiences. The unknown certainly scared me, but I was captivated by the idea that I could start anew, see my surroundings with fresh eyes.

My mother was vehemently opposed to my move. She couldn't understand what I wanted with this place and why I felt such a need to leave. I remember sitting next to her one day, participating in what was likely our 267th conversation/argument about said move. After all that time, she was NOT GETTING IT, and all I could think to say was, "Mom, I KNOW that this going to be extremely hard. I'm going to have to scrape by. But I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to the struggles. It will be good for me." I remember this because my mother was quieted by that remark, something that doesn't happen often.

The last four years have been the most difficult and emotionally trying that I've encountered to this point. Yet, it's also been the greatest, most rewarding time of my life. I have been through more character building experiences than I can count, and I have grown in ways that would not have been possible otherwise.

Sometimes, when we relocate, we essentially transplant our existing lives. This move, for me, was a complete overhaul. Regardless of whether one seeks to maintain or rebuild, putting oneself "out there" in such a way is both refreshing and challenging.

I hope that Danielle makes the move. I can think of few things that will teach her such a multitude of things and force to get creative in the way she approaches the world.

Regardless of what she chooses, I'm grateful that she was able to help remind me of why I am here. Although I try to remain cognizant of where my motivations lie, it's easy to lose perspective in the moments we most need clarity.