Ahem...

I'm complete shit when it comes to maintaining diaries. Starting them I can do, it's the keeping up part I struggle with. It's interesting because I enjoy writing for the sake of expression, but I have this idea that I ought to have something worthwhile to say if I'm going to take the time and energy to write. I am doing my best to revisit that notion regularly and reshape my perspective on the whole "diary" thing.

Because if I am diligent maybe the person-I-become will thank the me-I-am later. Or something.

But for the record, I prefer the word "journal." The word "diary" conjures up images of brightly-colored plastic notebooks whereby one can document their deepest, darkest secrets, plans for covert operations, relay information about what one's "crush" had to eat for lunch that day, and all the other classified information contained in the minds of adolescents the world over. Diaries, at least in my experience, came equipped with cheap locking devices to keep unwanted eyes out but which nearly anyone could circumvent with little effort (as I'm sure my older brothers can attest).

"Journals" don't need to be locked because they're nothing spectacular. Just musings about everyday life, a kind of running commentary. For me, its a process of mental purging and it's beneficial for at least two reasons: 1) despite my youth, I have increasingly poor memory, both short- and long-term, so this is a way to bring about some permanence and 2) I can write of the things I'm usually too petrified to verbally express to others for fear of inarticulate delivery, confused or disinterested looks on the part of my listener, and other complex-inducing reactions.

But I'm going to make it easy. No locks. Some censoring is to be expected but I hope to create a nice, little online world of vulnerability for myself and those deranged enough to relate. A world with an I'm-not-ok-you're-not-ok-but-that's-ok mentality. Because that's what these things seek to bring about, right?

So, yeah. It'll be fun. Just wait. And I'll get right to the whole business of recording my mental drippings...tomorrow.