My Children Are Going to Be So Well-Adjusted!

The beauty of becoming an adult is coming to realize that a great deal of what you learned growing up was complete and utter crap. True, it’s a bit frightening when this folder of Life’s Expectations and Supposed Truths that you’ve eagerly built up over the years becomes worthless - the way paper slowly deteriorates as it becomes saturated with water – but it can also be a bit freeing. There is some sad pleasure in it, and it makes me want to laugh, but it’s the kind of laugh you laugh when you’re really torn up about something and you just cant think of anything else to do. And, if you laugh long enough, you just might forget what it was that made you laugh to begin with.

When you think about it, future generations of adults would be a lot less fucked up if they weren’t brought up with all these expectations of what adulthood would be like, don’t you think? They’d have a great deal more time to spend actually living, instead of feeling sorry for themselves when their lives didn’t become the stuff of fairy tales.

Note to self: when you have children, tell them to prepare for a life of mediocrity. That way, if things work out better than that (which they probably won’t), they’ll be pleasantly surprised. And you might even get a Thank You out of it.